Forced to Skip Breakfast, Local Hobbit Confused Whether His Second Breakfast Is Still Technically ‘Second’ Breakfast
"Concerning" -Hobbits
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Tragedy struck a local halfling earlier this morning when an unexpected visit from his elderly relations, who had already eaten their own breakfast hours ago, forced him to go without one of the essential six meals observed daily—some might say religiously—by Hobbits throughout the Shire.1
As if skipping breakfast was not enough suffering for one day, the poor creature was then forced to endure the torment of a riddle with seemingly no answer.
“I like riddles as much as the next hobbit,” he commented. “But this one…ohh, it’s a doosey, it is.”
“I had finally shooed my relatives out of my Hobbit-hole and was sitting with my first bite of second breakfast halfway to my mouth when the cursed question came to me: is this actually second breakfast if I didn’t actually eat a first breakfast? Or is it just breakfast?”
Not since Bilbo’s legendary headscratcher about knowing less than half of his guests half as well as he should like and liking less than half of them half as well as they deserve has a halfling been presented with such a brain-teaser. Concerned neighbors of the afflicted creature said they found him still solemnly pondering the question well past time for afternoon tea.
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Though Pippin memorably lists off “elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?” in addition to Breakfast and Second Breakfast in Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings (2001), in the prologue to The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien describes Hobbits of the Shire and says “laugh they did, and eat, and drink, often and heartily, being fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them)” (The Lord of the Rings, “Concerning Hobbits,” 2). I here default to Tolkien’s mention of six meals and will leave “people of intelligence” to accomplish the mission…quest…thing of reconciling of these two lists.
The poor hobbit.
I wonder if afternoon tea is not a meal in itself but more of a light snack to stave off hunger before dinner. If I were being more controversial, I might alternatively suggest that dinner is only eaten if taken with other hobbits at a pub or tavern, and supper is generally taken at home.