Jesus and the Halfling
Two Exciting Milestones and The Fellowship of the Ring Meets The Gospel of John Chapter 4
Two Exciting Reader Milestones
Namárië, friends. Josh here. Before getting to the fictional conversation between Jesus and a certain hobbit (read on to find out which one!), I wanted to briefly update you all and share that we’ve reached one exciting milestone and are close to another one here at Jokien with Tolkien! Just yesterday we passed 3,000 total subscribers! And we are closing in on 100 paid subscribers as well! Give yourselves a round of applause for all your wonderful work.
Milestones like this always remind me just how grateful I for every one of you. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who is a subscriber and who has contributed to making these first few months of this newsletter so wonderful. I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like and…well you know (don’t worry, I’m not about to vanish or anything).
Would you do me a favor and help this newsletter continue to keep growing past the first milestone of 3,000 subscribers and reach the second milestone of 100 paid subscribers? (Fun fact: at 100 paid subscribers Substack authors get a precious Ring of Power checkmark to slowly corrupt them display as a “bestseller badge”.) Sharing this newsletter directly with friends or on social media, subscribing for free, or upgrading to a paid subscription are all ways you can help support my writing and participate in all the goodness happening here. Thank you!!
And now, we go far below the Misty Mountains deep into the Mines of Moria…
The Fellowship of the Ring meets The Gospel of John Chapter 4
Now Jesus had to go through Moria.1 And he came to a well in Moria in Balin’s tomb, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well next to a hobbit eating a meal.
Jesus said to him, “Give me a drink.”
Pippin said to him, “How is it that you, one of the Big Folk, ask for a drink from me, a hobbit of the Shire?” (For men had few dealings with Hobbits.)
Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of Ilúvatar, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”
Pippin replied, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?" Are you greater than our wizard friend, Gandalf?”
Jesus said to him, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
Pippin said to him, “Does this water come in pints?”
Jesus said to him, “Will you give me a bite of your breakfast?”
Looking down at his food, Pippin replied, “I don't have breakfast.”
Jesus said, “You are right in saying, ‘I don't have breakfast, for you have had two breakfasts today, and the meal you are eating now is elevenses. What you have said is true.”
Astonished, Pippin exclaimed, “Sir, I perceive that you are a wizard!”
Just then the rest of the Fellowship returned and were surprised to find them talking.
Jumping up and accidentally knocking the bucket into the well, Pippin said to them, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever ate!”
Appendices
Magic: The Gathering’s one-of-kind The One Ring card has been sold to Post Malone, who is apparently a MTG collector. Offers of up to $2 million had been made for the card before it was found. Post Malone paid $2.6 million for the card, making it the most expensive Magic card ever sold. One Ring to rule them all indeed.
Shout-out to Lon C, Marti C, Steven C, Chris B, and Candice and Chris who all upgraded to a paid subscription this week!
I’m planning on doing an “Ask Jokien” Reader Mailbag the last week of the month: send me your questions about Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, fantasy in general, or really anything (silly or serious) you’d like answered either below in the comments or directly to JRRJokien@gmail.com!
All typos are totally on purpose. Links may be affiliate, which is a free-to-you way to support this newsletter where I earn a small commission on items you purchase.
<Pippin said to him, “Does this water come in pints?”>
LMAO! You win the Internet today. Great post.
Very well balanced post (meaning+humor). I wish there had been more, but even as I say that I realize there was just the right amount.
After all, “A great writer never writes for too long or quits writing too soon. A great writer stops writing precisely when they mean to...”