[a manger in BETHLEHEM. MARY and JOSEPH stand above the CHRIST CHILD, who is in a MANGER. A ragtag group is gathered around them, with the WISE MEN1 at their head]
CASPAR: Along with my fellow wise men, Melchior and Balthasar, I have brought a gift for the baby. I give gold, a gift worthy of a king!
MELCHIOR: My gift is Frankincense, a symbol of deity for this most special child.
BALTHASAR: I bring myrrh, for use in burial.
MARY: Thank you for these…most interesting gifts. Love that you skipped over practical gifts like diapers or onesies and went all out on the symbolism… I see that we have more gifts? What do you three bring?
ARAGORN: You have my sword.
LEGOLAS: And my bow.
GIMLI: And my AXE!
MARY: …
FATHER CHRISTMAS: I just got back from Narnia and hear we’re giving children swords and bows? I’d love to get in on that!
JOSEPH: No thank you, we already have plenty *glares at Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli*
GANDALF: Drums… drums in the deep…
LITTLE DRUMMER BOY: *stops drumming* sorry about that
TOM BOMBADIL: Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
FATHER CHRISTMAS [to GANDALF]: Who is that guy?
GANDALF: Bombadil? No one is quite sure…
JOSEPH: Some Silent Night this is! Mary, did you know—
MERRY: Did I know what?
JOSEPH: No, Mary, M-A-R-Y did you know?
MARY: About all this? No way
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Appendices
I’ve got a few more newsletters for you before the close of the year! Be on the lookout for a few more Jokien with Tolkien issues over the next week and a half
I enjoyed this “Very Lord of the Rings Advent” series in the
newsletter by Katie Marquette. Here’s a link to part 1:
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Yes, I know that they most certainly weren’t there that first night along with the shepherds. But, as you’ll see, this is hardly the least accurate part of this nativity scene
Thank you so much for sharing the Advent guide! I've only recently discovered JRR Jokien and I'm a bit obsessed. Huge fan! This is the perfect Christmas scene 😅
WISE MAN: tell me, where is Jesus? For I much desire to honor him.