Peace On Middle-earth, Good-will Toward Men, Elves, and Dwarves

A Collection of LOTR Christmas Carols

In honor of today being December 1st, I thought I’d post a roundup of some of my favorite Lord of the Rings versions of Christmas Carols—a few that I wrote and some by others. Some are new and some are from years past, but they’re all Tolkien-y spins on Christmas music. Because you just KNOW that Tolkien and Christmas go together (more on that in next week’s newsletter!). Just TRY and tell me you don’t want to hear Thorin’s Company sing a rendition of “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” that shakes the bones of the Misty Mountains with its deep bass rumble.

That’s right, you can’t! So let’s get to the Tolkien Christmas Carols then.

1. Santatar, Lord of Gifts, is Coming to Town

   JRR Ho Ho Hokien 🗡️🏹🪓 @joshcarlosjosh

   HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING / HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE / HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD / SO KEEP IT SECRET, KEEP IT SAFE

   

2. One Gift to Rule Them All

   Tea with Tolkien @TeawithTolkien

   last christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you cast it into the fires of Mount Doom, where it was forged, the only place where it could be destroyed

3. Merry, Did You Know? (spoiler alert: he didn’t)

   Andrew Snyder @Andrewnsnyder

   Merry, did you know that your Barrow-blade, Would stab the Witch-King of Angmar?

   (This one is the first tweet of a thread doing alternate lyrics to the whole song, so be sure to either click above to head to Twitter to read the thread or check it out on threadreader)

4. Don’t worry, Gandalf got better

   Gandalf the White Christmas 🗡️🏹🪓 @joshcarlosjosh

   Gandalf got run over by a Balrog Walking through the mines of Moria You can say there's no such Bane of Durin's But as for me and Gimli, we believe

5. Go Tell It On the Mount Doom

   Teresa Sayles @tsayles33

   Go, tell it on the mountain Over the hills and everywhere Go, tell it on the mountain That the ring’s at last been found While Sauron kept his watching O’er hoards of orcs by night Behold from the Shire There shone a hobbit liiiiiiiiiight…

   

   

   JRR Ho Ho Hokien 🗡️🏹🪓 @joshcarlosjosh

   HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING / HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE / HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD / SO KEEP IT SECRET, KEEP IT SAFE https://t.co/IEbhyc7f9k

   
   (this is another one that’s a thread of the whole song, so be sure to click and check it out!)

6. If The Rings of Power doesn’t have a Christmas Special where Galadriel and Halbrand sing “Sauron Baby” we riot

   C with a PhD 👩‍🔬 @lovesdogs1313

   @joshcarlosjosh Sauron baby, forgot to mention one little thing A ring, I don't mean on the phone Sauron baby, so hurry down from Mordor tonight

7. The 12 Days of Christmas

   Gandalf the White Christmas 🗡️🏹🪓 @joshcarlosjosh

   on the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve dwarves & thorin elevenses & luncheon ten thousand uruks nine black riders ate second breakfast seven palantíri six thousand spears FIVE ISTARI four hobbitses three silmarils two towers AND ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL

8. And finally: we’ve had one 12 Days of Christmas parody, yes. But what about Second 12 Days of Christmas?

JRR Ho Ho Hokien 🗡️🏹🪓 @joshcarlosjosh

on the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me FIVE GOLDEN RINGS ...but they were all of them deceived, for another Ring was made.

So what do you think? Comment with which one of the above is your favorite! Or to share one you’ve seen before that you loved but I didn’t include here or one that hasn’t been done yet that you think someone should do!

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BONUS:

(These two aren’t Christmas songs but they’re too good not to share)

📻 King Boy T || album: pinned 💿📌 @nailheadparty

TOM BOMBADIL: Old Tom Bombadil is a merry... [THE BEASTIE BOYS: FELLOW] Bright blue his [JACKET] is and his [BOOTS] are [YELLOW]

stephen @stepheniscowboy

JJR Tolkein: One ring to rule them all, one ring to Beastie Boys: FIND 'EM JRR Tolkein: One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness Beastie Boys: BIND 'EM

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