Renaming The Alliance Formerly Known as "The Last Alliance of Elves and Men"
It's not as simple as you might think
[Horns blow, announcing that the Elves have arrived at Helm's Deep]
HALDIR: An alliance once existed between Elves and Men
ARAGORN: Yes, “The Last Alliance of Elves and Men”
HALDIR: Well, yes. And no. That’s what it used to be called. But you see, now that we’ve come here to make a new alliance between Elves and Men, that one shall now be known as “The Alliance Formerly Known as the Last Alliance of Men and Elves.”
ARAGORN: I thought “Last Alliance” just meant “previous alliance,” not “final alliance.” You know, like “the last time I visited Rivendell I saw Arwen” and not “That’s the last time I try any of Éowyn’s cooking.”
HALDIR: Was the stew really that bad?
ARAGORN: *shudders* I don’t want to talk about it.
HALDIR: Allllllright. Well, I see how that’s confusing about the alliance name. Rather unclear, isn’t it?
ARAGORN: Well what should we call this alliance then?
HALDIR: Well if you don’t like the “Alliance Formerly Known As the Last Alliance,” how about…“The Final Alliance of Elves and Men”?
ARAGORN: Hmm, definitely more definitive. But what if we need another alliance? Then we’re right back to where we started this conversation.
HALDIR: How about “Maybe The Real Alliance is All the Friends We Made Along the Way”?
ARAGORN: …
HALDIR: 2 Last 2 Alliance?
ARAGORN: What does that even—
HALDIR: Ok fine, let’s just call it “The Most Recent Alliance of Elves and Men Barring Any Future Alliances, In Which Case It Shall Retroactively Be Known As A Previous Alliance”
ARAGORN: Maybe we should just leave out the fact that the Elves helped Men out at Helm’s Deep when we write the book about all this. Much simpler that way I think!
HALDIR: Over my dead body!
Appendices
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Sad laugh at “over my dead body” 🥹 RIP movie Haldir
"The Once And Future Alliance"? Wait, that's the Camelot gang...